feel bad

I just wondered my family affected my life a lot.
although i came from a poor family, i really have a good life. I feel inferior in my high school years because almost all my friends are living in a richer family than i have. I feel bad at that time.

Now you are an adult now. I should learn how to endure my inferior feeling.
Ya, no one is perfect.

I don't like the feeling of depending on others. However, have a thick face, ya, i means shamelessness is good for people like me. It doesn't matter as long as you get your things done without hurting yourself.


Second, I have two defects to correct. They are 'careless and casual','delay'.


I feel bad here, don't know why. life without you are nothing.
I would like to go some place to cure myself.

love problem

Let's reflect on the things this week.1. Writing: you didn't spend any hours on it! Please write something!2. recommendation letters: You should go and ask jia to write for you. Please don't hesistate on important things!Eating: i will like to try eating good foods starting from today. exercise:i am panic now. Waiting babe to get up. Our love has too much quarrel. She is hard than me. Everytime we quarrel, i am the one to say sorry, although i think i am doing no wrong. I feel bad. She is always wants to break up after quarrel.

healthy life style

I want to make this week an healthy week.
1. Eat vegetable, if can : since babe has interested in vege food, then let us has
once meal a day in pure vege.
2. buying, eating good product: by this i mean we can go to some place selling
organice food.
3. doing exercise: babe swims once a week. How about you? you should also do
some exercise. Yoga is good and we should continue to do it. How about
jogging? You have the time to do so, ok?
4. sleep early:

New years!!!

The new year is coming! I am staying home because babe has gone to her teacher's house by command.
I hope i can achieve some targets:
1. Building good relations:
I want to have good relations with babe,my family,friends,teacher and people around me. I hope i can become a person who give love frequently and unconditionally and bravely.

2. correct some bad habits.

There are some habits that are not good, as mentioned by babe. There are : smell things, biting fingernails, eating rushly and untidily. Let's get rid of them.

3.

I also have some wishes:

1. I hope that i can have a good relations with babe. I love her very much and i think i should have a long term relations with her in future. I hope that we can stay together even after i go to u.s. I need to plan the things!

2. I wish i can get the admission! The best admission will be the one with scholarship, no matter which school is it. I hope that i have no economic problem while i am studying at there.

3. I wish i can publish my own result in a scientific journal. I have done the research for a long time so i hope i can have a good result.

4. I hope that my family's member can all be healthy. I am worried about grandma and mum and dad. I wish them healthy. for my brothers, I hope them can have good result in their study or work.

Happy new Year!

physics preparation

i was attempted to do something bigger in my life.
What is something great you can do?
1. Presentation is a way for you to share with your fellows and boss your new discoveries and works. More importantly, you can discuss your current problems with them. Therefore, you have to prepare well for your presentation.
2. Foundamental question is very important to you. Therefore start to study Jackson's.

cleaning my room

you feel frustrated because of sound, mind, view has too many rubbish. What are these rubbish? The noise from fan, the untidy desk and room and random thought make me feel annoyed and cannot get to work.

Therefore, let us start to clean our room!

x'mas

x'mas day!
i will go to have good dinner with babe today and will take photo at the east taipei where there are a lot of great x'mas tree! Hope she will feel happy today!

Anything to review?
Ya, first of all, to be a good theoritical physicist, you need now three things: good analytical and numerical technique and knowlege, creativity of solving problems, good command in programming and english.
So, let us work on these three things!

determination to change.

writing diary is good for you. I should try to write more here. Write everything. My thought, my feeling, my idea, my confession, my unspeakable guilt,love,hate,etc.
I should quit game and mastuxxxxxx. The two things is unharmful in general. ONLY they cost your precious time. They are bad if taken as hobby! You don't getting any rest or refreshment from them.

Guitar . Music. reading. YOGA. Even dreaming is good.

Recently two events change my idea about my future career. First of all, the book of ex-director of Microsoft's accomplishment of building school and library in rural area. This story tells me that every person can contribute to this society if he/she has the determination to do it. Second, "An inconvenient Truth" from Al gore, a documentary about global warming, really motivated me to try to contribute my knowledge to help human society.

Therefore, i am very sure that i won't do research in high-energy physics or cosmology. I will like to do research in optics or condensed matter physics, research that have direct contribution to human society.

English conversation

Yesterday's call was a stunning experience for me.
I have called ets about my problem of additional score report. I stammered. I have to think how to organize my words to a sentence before i can speak to her. BAd.
I have to train my english conversation skills. I can listen well. I can summary listening. But i have to get accustomed to talk in english, to communicate well.

love practise

Yesterday night is unforgettable. Babe want to break up with me. She was so serious that my begging was not workable.
1. i have to reread the man from mars book. Learn what she is thinking about, what she needed most.
2. i have to buy her chocolates, cakes or if i can afford, flower, to her when i want to express my excuse. She think that it is an expression of my sincerity.

life without money

Now i have only nt907 inside my bank. I still owe babe 7800+300=8100 nt dollar.
My salary is enough for me to live here. But i still needs fund for my application.

From the event yesterday, I understand babe more now. It is seems like she is tend not to express her real feeling in some cases. She will felt embarassed to do so. Well, then let is be.

I feel hard to get along with her sometimes. She is irrational sometimes. She followed her emotion not mind. This bother me a lot.

I am burst out of application. It is too cumbersome. Ya, it has been a long journey since i started the preparation. Take a rest from it.
But i have to present my best part to the university. Don't give up the last chance and effort to do it.

English Writing

How do i do today?
First, remember to send the application material as early as i can. It is ultimately important. You wouldn't want your 2 years effort to be ruined by your mail delay!

Control Your Life. Make everything in your life contrallable.

I should work hard on my English writing from now on!

don;t procrastina don'r rush!

I dont like the feeling of rushing.
Just now is a total mistake. i dont know whether the gal have help me to put the right things into the right envelope.
Ok, i hope that next time i have plenty time of doing all these things! Don't rush. don't make things rush. so don't procrastinate!
do the scheduled things well!

btw, don't worry. you know the answer tomorrow whether the uni receive the mail. Even you send the wrong material, you can resend! ok!so don't worry!

things to do

In order to success in future, few things have to put in effort now.
1. human relations:
Babe said that i was poor in my handling of relations with other person around me. I agree on this. And this is important for me to sustain a healthy life, not only for being success in future. Therefore i need to make some effort.
a. reading books on how to improve.
b. find out what is my problems.
c. practise everyday.

2. english
you are good at listening and reading already. Now is the time to practise other two skills: speaking and writing. How to improve?
a. write more: write diary everryday. write report properly. write everything properly and grammatically right.
b. consult on books: learn how to write better.
c. speak more: speak about your research in english. practise speaking with babe.

3. programming skill
I need to have the skill of writing program since i am going to be a theoritical physicist.
Mathematica and fortran should be your priority. Matlab and linux is the second things.

some plan, some idea.

The deadline of ohio and arizona is coming. what things i haven finished?
1. finance
2. report
3. sop

Ok. give me a deadline. finished them before next week!

Doing research has been my passion. just keep on doing it.

Being honest is a very important virtue. Please always remember it! No matter what outcome you think may happened, be honest is always the best method you can apply.

I hope that i can learn fortran and enhanced my skill in computational physics. If i study theoritical physics in U.S., there are a must and you can save time in america when you learn all these things.

month activity fortran mathematica
11 for application 1,2 1
12 for application 3,4 2
1 english speaking 5,6,7 3,4
2 8,9,10 5,6
3 11,12,13 7,8
4 14,15
5
6

i am considering to do social work. I think it will be the best experince i can have. good suggestion?

tendency to positve thinking!

i hope that i can now start again writing diary daily. so that i can regain my power here. I can reflect on what i met and done today.

Ok. I should abandon my tendency of avoidance important thins. i like to procrastinate especially on things i don't like to face. Change this tendency!

I will work hard on everything now. although i don't earn a lot here, i feel very happy here. i understand that doing research is very interesting things to me and i hope that i can carry on doing it. 

earn money!

It is been a long time since the last time i was writing at here.
Now has been the time of applying university.
I feel so sad when i was thinking about my family. I hope that i can earn my phd in 3~4 years so that i can contribute my effort helping my family. I want to earn money to support my brother's education. I want to give them better chance to success. Give them a better living enviroment.

Diary 060111

I get annoyed in the middle of the chat with babe. What made me annoyed? Is it the way she talk? She like to speaking a lots of example and waiting me to answer, but i prefer to listen to her talk. Well, if this is the reason, i think you shouldn't get annoyed. Just simply switch the talk to the other way. Come on, use your brain.

i'll like to say something about my Quantum Mechanics exam. What is the goal of the exam? To test the ability in one specific area. Ok, is it coincidence with the ability of research? For doing a research, you need to learn lots of thing and have a wide variety of ability. Among the abilities that will not be tested out in exam is the ability of finding the materials, self-learning of something new, the construction of the logic and etc. But this cant be tested by the exam now. So, i don't have to care too much about the exam's result except fot the consideration of gpa.

So, to do well in your studying and research work is important and the result of it can be only understood by you.

So, now the exam is over. Got to start doing my report and research work.

Diary 2006-01-10

It's been a long time since i started my circus here. The business was bad.OK. I'll try to make it works.I am still not accustomed to write diary on web. The reason I write here is to practice writing, thinking in front of computer because computer has become such a useful machine that almost everything can be and should be done on it. And also for the reason that the writing test of TOEFL and GRE is tested on computer so it is necessary to be accustom to it before the test.How about today? I think is quite ok. i should stop doing 'that thing' now.Anyway, I study at the morning and afternoon. But something bad happened at the buying of lunch. Babe is calling me and she was worried about her exam. I should try the method introduced in the book' Men from mars' one. Next time i should try to listen to her first before giving her any advice.I go to accompany my babe tonight. It's wonderful. I secretly bought her some apples. She was quite happy about that.Ya, life should be like that. Recently I ask myself ' how is your day' before my sleep. I think that help me to understand what is the most important and urgent things to do now.

可悲的

政府決策者專業知識的貧乏和亂砸錢的作風,讓人覺得氣憤. 你會因為twin tower覺得驕傲嗎?為甚麼你會覺得驕傲?因為他曾是全世界最高的建築物嗎? 台灣人可以為他們的台北101大樓驕傲,畢竟是他們的建築師,工程師作出的成就.反觀我們的twin tower是其他國家的專才作出的,有甚麼值得驕傲?因為出的了這比錢嗎? klia更是笑話,龐大的空間,因為人的流通量太小了. 我國現有需要的不是那些甚麼最大,甚麼第一的硬體設施,而是實用且符合實際需要的建設.我國有很多傑出的人才,但是都外流了,不然這些機場和大樓都可以是本國人建出的. 可悲的..

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